Setting Boundaries

Every relationship requires boundaries. Whether it's a workplace acquaintance, a significant partner or a parent-child connection, relationships require give and take, and each person needs to maintain their sense of self and integrity. 

It's not easy to navigate boundaries. When boundaries are too strong, they're like a fortress not letting others in. When they're too loose they're like a doormat, inviting everyone to walk all over them and in the process trample the person setting them. The ideal balance is a flexible yet firm bounday that lets in the right level of intimacy for the relationship, but allows the person to maintain their own values and honor their self worth. The tricky part of this is that it can vary from moment to moment and does vary greatly across relationships. 

Add to the difficulty in setting the right boundary, we may find ourselves in toxic relationships that thrive on us not having adquate boundaries. When we learn to set better parameters, those partners tend to lash out and conflict ensues. 

The resources on this page can help you learn more about boundaries and ways to maintain yourself as you let your guard down and build emotional intimacy with others.